Day 30 - The Last Leaf..

"When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It's all a matter of perspective."

Harvey Mackay

Today's post is inspired from O Henry's story 'The Last Leaf' which sublimely depicts optimism in the worst of times. Everything in the world will happen when it has to happen, you or me have no control over it. Ultimately, it is we who shape our lives, through our thoughts, decisions, and actions. Optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin. Either you choose to be a pessimist and jinx your own life or you choose the optimistic side and try to be happy and let others be happy as well.

When I searched on the internet for, 'how to be optimistic', I found 56,300,000 results in 0.39 seconds. Most of them essentially highlight how one can invite positive thoughts, practice positive assertion, think of the glass that is half full and so on. But why in the world was I reading them? Well lately, a series of events in my life made me very negative in my approach. I would think negatively, think of 'what ifs' in a negative manner, find flaws in every situation, regress back to the past, etc. All this negativity was draining my energy, my happiness, and I was sort of stuck in my life. I suddenly felt this need for detoxification of my mind, to find a way out of negative thoughts.

The first thing I did was avoiding arguments or discussions with a negative person. Whatever you say, they would find umpteen reasons to justify their stand. The discussions would just lead to nowhere except for ruining your day. Sometimes, negativity is so deeply rooted in their hearts that however hard you try, you cannot convince the person. Also, when you yourself are in a negative state of mind, talking to another such person will only drain you. So it's better to avoid such people altogether. And I did just that and trust me, this was a big step and more difficult than anything else, for it meant not interacting with friends and colleagues who were full of complaints, criticisms, and cynical comments and who would derive pleasure in belittling you. As somebody said: If you are in the company of people who rule you through fear, making you feel belittled and unappreciated, it's time to exit their lives. Don't let your loyalty become slavery, if they don't appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alone! This isn't saying "I hate them", it's saying "I love me!".

I tried to figure out something unique that would keep me happy and motivated. Writing for this blog served as a daily diary, wherein each day I filtered out only positivity. In the process, I learned about many things and I shared it here with you. For me, it proved to be an exercise to search for ideas and answers that constantly boggled my mind, quest for learning something new each day, and in the process I felt motivated and happy, and asserted that things would be better tomorrow if not today.

All good things must come to an end. With this, my fantastic journey of '30 signatures in 30 days' comes to an end. Each day I made an effort to think differently, to think positively; some days I was successful while on some days I couldn't give my 100%. But at least I tried. I hope all of you who have been a part of this small journey, learned something new each day and appreciated something at least. Negative thinking will not benefit any of you. So get rid of them in your own style.

I hope, the last leaf that hangs in here will always be a memento of hope and optimism, of a beautiful future that lies ahead of us. Nothing or nobody can deter us from living happily. Be happy today and always.

I thank all my family, friends and everyone who has been a part of this journey. 

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Day 29 - Stay calm, prioritize, bounce back!

"As Indian women, we are always balancing work, life, home, etc. It's important to know that while juggling rubber balls and glass balls, the former may bounce back when you miss, but the glass balls will crack if you let them fall. So prioritize, prioritize, prioritize." Nita Ambani

A topic close to my heart - who is better at multitasking - men or women. A debatable topic everywhere around the world but scientific research and studies favor women. It is said that women are better at multitasking while men are better performing a single task in hand. So while men may be better at map reading, women have superior memory and social cognition skills that make them more equipped for multitasking. However, whatever studies may say, the fact remains that very few women in India, actually reach the top and the reasons are all very familiar - childcare, gender bias at work, unfair share of domestic chores, security, etc...only 5% reach to the top as compared to the global average of 20% as per the latest report by ForbesIndia.

It is always the woman who has to face all the conflict when it comes to choosing between a career and her family. When a woman is at home she thinks she should contribute financially and when she is at work she thinks she should be home with her children. Indra Nooyi the CEO of PepsiCo says: "There is no denying the guilt because most women always have a prefix or suffix. When someone pays us a compliment for good work, we don't take credit so easily because the guilt that we have achieved this by sacrificing something else is always lingering. Today, my 20-year-old son is my mentor. He tells me not to feel guilty for anything. I am saying, don't feel guilty. Go ahead and take that break from work/career. Do what is right. Prioritize and integrate."

However, not many are lucky; blame it on our social conditioning or mindset, but the onus of child care and family care, rests on the shoulder of a woman - whether working or not working. I find many women around me holding a bunch of degrees but who have been unable to make it back to work. Some are unwilling to come out of their comfort zones while some are unable to do so due to many reasons apart from cultural norms, peer pressure, lack of family support, etc. At the same time we have many examples of women, who have taken a break from their career for the sake of their families but when they bounced back on their career lane they bounced high and they made it to the top. I feel every woman must work not just to gain financial independence but for your own self, for your self-esteem, for your own worth. 

No matter how much life pushes you down, you can always bounce back. So my message to all the women out there who have worked once but left their jobs due to whatever reason and to those who want to make it back - it's never too late. Keep trying.

Keep life simple, focus on one thing at a time. We can do it.
Stay calm, prioritize, bounce back!

Day 28 - Relax, breathe, do not think...

"People sometimes need to laugh, relax, and not take themselves so seriously." John Loflin

How often we think of relaxing, taking a break from our work, break from our daily routine and go far away from this world, from people, from neighbours, from friends, from struggles, from despairs, from discomfort, and unwind ourselves completely. Come to think of it, relaxing has never been possible for me. Life has kept me so busy, with work, responsibilities and duties, that I can never think of breaking away from this world. At the back of my mind, there's always something running, constantly worrying about something. My mind is perpetually working, thinking about ideas and concepts, learning and unlearning, wandering into realms over which I have no control at times.

When you think of the word relax you have different images conjuring up in your mind. For some relaxing would mean a walk by the beach, or reading a book, or lying for hours staring at the stars, watching a movie, listening to music or taking a holiday with family or friends. For me relaxing would be just to shut my mind - stop thinking and worrying, stop wondering and wandering!

Truly said: 
"Sometimes all you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess, just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best."

Relax and have a peaceful Sunday.

Day 27 - Some days you are up and some days you are down...

"Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind." Paula Wall

The stock market has always been unpredictable and whatever the experts say about it, it is futile to predict where the market is going. They are designed to be unpredictable. Similarly, our life is quite unpredictable. Some days are so good that everything seems to happen the way you wanted it to while some days are so bad that everything seems to go wrong. But imagine life without its ups and downs. We have to accept the ups and downs of our life positively. In fact, you start appreciating the good times only when you pass through the bad times. Struggles, hardships, and failures prepare you for the good times ahead. Amongst the many lessons that life has taught me is that during such period of 'downs' surround yourself with people who love you, support you and encourage you. Their strength and belief in you will carry you forward. The 'ups' in your life will leave great memories, but the 'downs' will become great lessons for the life ahead.

Somebody has truly said, forget the hurt but don't forget what it taught you. So enjoy the good days while it lasts and gather up all the strength and courage for the downs. 

Enjoy the day ahead...Every day may not be good, but there's something good every day! 

Day 26 - Achievements

"Great buildings that move the spirit have always been rare. In every case, they are unique, poetic, products of the heart." Arthur Erickson

Some buildings or architectural ruins, sculptural or art works, or some natural features are so popular that people associate that building or a feature with a particular place. Those features become the landmark or icons. For example, the Opera house reminds you of Sydney, the Eiffel tower reminds you of Paris, the Statue of Liberty is associated with New York and the Taj Mahal is associated with Agra. Similarly, Dubai has its unique skyline which is made iconic by the Burj Al Arab and the Burj Khalifa. When I first landed in Dubai many years back, a good-natured friend just asked me how I felt about Dubai. I didn't know much about the city then but when I think about the places I have visited, Burj Al Arab stands apart. I have always admired this structure. Visible from far away it looks spectacularly white during the daytime while in the night it transforms into a vibrant display of colors. When it was built in 1999, it accumulated many records, as it was the highest (321m), the most luxurious (7 stars), and one of the most expensive hotel in the world. This impressive structure stands on an artificial island 300 metres from the coast. Designed by Architect Tom Wright, the tower resembles the Arabian dhow sail and is a tribute to the nation's seafaring heritage. It stands on an artificial island 280 meters away from the beach, connected to the mainland only by a curvilinear path.

Whatever I write about this iconic tower, it will not be enough. But here I present some facts that I found while researching about Burj Al Arab:

• The height of the atrium 180 metres - one of the tallest in the world.
• If one man was to build this structure it would take him 8,000 years to finish it.
• During the day, the hotel's public area relies solely on natural daylight.
• The diagonal trusses on the side of the building are as long as a football pitch and weigh as much as 20 double-decker buses.
• You need to walk up to 1080 steps to reach the 27th floor of Burj Al Arab
• It takes one full month, 19 people, plus the rope access team to clean the windows of the whole building.
• The building's external lighting scheme changes every 30 minutes from white to multi-colored.
• It is the world's tallest structure with membrane facade (made of white Teflon-coated fiberglass cloth).

Apart from the above facts, the Burj Al Arab has grabbed attention many a times for the following reasons:

• In March 2004, Tiger Woods became the first golfer to tee off from the property's iconic 27th storey helipad, 212 metres up.
• In 2005, Andre Agassi and Roger Federer played a practise match on the landing space ahead of the men's Dubai Duty-Free Tennis championship.
• In 2011, Rory McIlroy followed in Tiger's footsteps and teed off from the same spot.
• In 2013, David Coulthard performed a series of doughnuts in Infiniti Red Bull Racing's 750bhp Formula One car.

The impressive Burj Al Arab along with the incredible achievements of the above-mentioned people only reminds me of the words by Napolean Hill: "The starting point of all achievements is desire." Behind great achievements lie true desire, ample sacrifices, and steady planning. So if you wish to achieve something great, don't say 'I wish' but say 'I will'. 

Have a fabulous morning.

Day 25 - Be like a dolphin today.

Cultures have long heard wisdom in non-human voices; Apollo, god of music, medicine and knowledge, came to Delphi in the form of a dolphin. But dolphins, which fill the oceans with blipping and chirping, and whales, which mew and caw in the ultramarine jazz - a true rhapsody in blue - are hunted to the edge of silence. Jay Griffiths

Time and again, I have been inspired by nature. But it's not just me. From an artist to a jewellery designer, a doctor to a scientist, everyone draws inspiration from nature. You can be quirky or unconventional, but you can't deny this fact that nature has aided development in every aspect of our lives. Today's post is inspired by the Dolphin because this is one creature which continues to survive on the earth despite all odds. A valuable lesson to learn from this intelligent creature is to live in harmony with all other creatures. Also, just like the dolphins, you can achieve more in life when you work with people as a team rather than competing against each other.

Dolphins being mammals, surface every 15 minutes to breathe. A lesson to learn from this; When you feel life is getting more than routine and you are getting caught in the rut...take a deep breath...take a break. Do that more often.

Here are some interesting facts about the Dolphin that I gathered from around the web:

• Dolphins are the only mammals that give birth with the tail first instead of the head.
• They have two stomachs; One to store their food and one for digestion.
• It can dive up to 1,000 feet.
• Dolphins don't smell very well.
• The dorsal fin of every dolphin is unique and it can be used to identify them from each other.
• They can swim at a speed of up to 25 miles per hour for a long time. This is about 3 times faster than the fastest human in the world.
• There are about 100 teeth in the mouth of a dolphin.
• Only one side of the dolphin's brain sleeps at a time. This allows them to be able to breathe and to be able to watch for threats even while they are resting.
• Dolphins enjoy socializing and playing. They play with seaweed or with other members of the pod.
• They can weigh from 90 pounds to more than 11 tons.
• The dolphins use echolocation to find food and navigate.
• The killer whale or Orca is actually a dolphin.

I read somewhere that dolphins can remember the distinct whistle of another dolphin they shared a tank with upto 20 years ago, even if they only lived together for a few months. A lesson for us humans: At least try to remember the names of the people you meet!

Be like a Dolphin today. Have a playful spirit and be curious. Go through the day with ease. Jump for joy!

Day 24 - Drawing led me to architecture...

"It was the drawing that led me to architecture, the search for light and astonishing forms." Oscar Niemeyer

I share the sentiments. Drawing is one thing that led me to architecture and then the search for forms and shapes, texture and patterns, space articulation and what not.

As students of architecture, the tools of engineering drawings kept us amused and engrossed for most of the times. With dreams in our eyes and some peculiar concept running at the back of our minds, we stepped into our college each day, carrying a paraphernalia of drawing instruments and sheets. Unlike other college students who went off to their colleges with a couple of books in their hands, we were loaded with our drawing tools. You name it and we architecture students had it all with us; from T-squares to French curves, from compass to drawing templates, from thick sheets to tracing papers and so on. We were like portable drawing studio ourselves!

During our college days, making architectural drawings was a labored task. It involved sharpening our pencils correctly, using the correct pen nibs for inking, and careful selection of tracing papers and sheets. I remember that we stood for hours, with our backs bent on the drafting boards, making detailed design drawings. We took a lot of pain to draw that perfect curve for an arched door or a curvilinear wall, using a compass and a pencil. Many of us bought large sized compass to inscribe larger arcs and circles. I still remember the small stationary kiosk in our educational town, where we architecture students would rush in at odd hours of the day and even at night for stationaries and supplies, much to the chagrin of the shop-keeper, but then he made a good profit out of his business and he always had a smiling face. 

We worked for the entire night for our final presentation drawings. It was fascinating to watch our ideas emerging on to our drawing boards in the form of 2D and 3D drawings. Next morning in the college, we would exhibit our sheets on the display boards with equal passion and optimism, all to be drained and drowned, by the criticism of our professors and jurors. A student would feel most denigrated when the professor or the juror would make sketches on his sheet. The hours of gruelling work took no time to be reduced to self-deprecation at times.

We were the first batch in our college who got to use the computers and we positively carried on from there. Gone were those laborious days. We still continue to debate between computer-aided drawings and manually made drawings. But then as Thom Mayne said "Architecture is a discipline that takes time and patience." 

A quote by Harriet Tubman to start the day with: "Every dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have with you strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and to change the world."